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Thursday, April 4, 2013

2:52AM - Anybody home?

Does anyone still use this site?

Monday, June 18, 2007

2:49AM - Hmmm...different format

I have been away for a few years. I am back. Please say hello if you remember me. I now have 2 beautiful daughters. There is much more to tell, but it is late and I am tired. Hello to everyone who stuck with LJ dispite the rise of My Space.

Current mood: amused

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

2:36AM - Zen

"The Master said to me: All the Buddhas and all sentient beings are nothing but the One Mind, beside which nothing exists. This Mind, which is without beginning, is unborn and indestructible. It is not green nor yellow, and has neither form nor appearance. It does not belong to the categories of things which exist or do not exist, nor can it be thought of in terms of new or old. It is neither long nor short, big nor small, for it transcends all limits, measure, names, traces and comparisons. It is that which you see before you - begin to reason about it and you at once fall into error. It is like the boundless void which cannot be fathomed or measured. The One Mind alone is the Buddha, and there is no distinction between the Buddha and sentient things, but that sentient beings are attached to forms and so seek externally for Buddhahood. By their very seeking they lose it, for that is using the Buddha to seek for the Buddha and using mind to grasp Mind. Even though they do their utmost for a full aeon, they will not be able to attain it. They do not know that, if they put a stop to conceptual thought and forget their anxiety, the Buddha will appear before them, for this Mind is the Buddha and the Buddha is all living beings. It is not the less for being manifested in ordinary beings, nor is it greater for being manifest in the Buddhas."



1 The Self

O Master, 1
Tell me how to find
Detachment, wisdom, and freedom!
Child, 2
If you wish to be free,
Shun the poison of the senses.

Seek the nectar of truth,
Of love and forgiveness,
Simplicity and happiness.

Earth, fire and water, 3
The wind and the sky -
You are none of these.

If you wish to be free,
Know you are the Self,
The witness of all these,
The heart of awareness.

Set your body aside. 4
Sit in your own awareness.

You will at once be happy,
Forever still,
Forever free.

You have no caste. 5
No duties bind you.

Formless and free,
Beyond the reach of the senses,
The witness of all things.

So be happy!

Right or wrong, 6
Joy and sorrow,
These are of the mind only.
They are not yours.

It is not really you
Who acts or enjoys.

You are everywhere,
Forever free.

Forever and truly free, 7
The single witness of all things.

But if you see yourself as separate,
Then you are bound.

"I do this. I do that." 8
The big black snake of selfishness
Has bitten you!

"I do nothing."
This is the nectar of faith,
So drink and be happy!

Know you are one, 9
Pure awareness.

With the fire of this conviction,
Burn down the forest of ignorance.

Free yourself from sorrow,
And be happy.

Be happy! 10
For you are joy, unbounded joy.

You are awareness itself.

Just as a coil of rope
Is mistaken for a snake,
So you are mistaken for the world.

If you think you are free, 11
You are free.

If you think you are bound,
You are bound.

For the saying is true:
You are what you think.

The Self looks like the world. 12
But this is just an illusion.

The Self is everywhere.


The witness of all things,
Without action, clinging or desire.

Meditate on the Self. 13
One without two,
Exalted awareness.

Give up the illusion
Of the separate self.

Give up the feeling,
Within or without,
That you are this or that.

My child, 14
Because you think you are the body,
For a long time you have been bound.

Know you are pure awareness.

With this knowledge as your sword
Cut through your chains.

And be happy!

For you are already free, 15
Without action or flaw,
Luminous and bright.

You are bound
Only by the habit of meditation.

Your nature is pure awareness. 16

You are flowing in all things,
And all things are flowing in you.

But beware
The narrowness of the mind!

You are always the same, 17
Unfathomable awareness,
Limitless and free,
Serene and unperturbed.

Desire only your own awareness.

Whatever takes form is false. 18
Only the formless endures.

When you understand
The truth of this teaching,
You will not be born again.

For God is infinite, 19
Within the body and without,
Like a mirror,
And the image in a mirror.

As the air is everywhere, 20
Flowing around a pot
And filling it,
So God is everywhere,
Filling all things
And flowing through them forever.

-Ashtavakra Gita http://www.swcp.com/~robicks/gita00.htm

Thursday, September 16, 2004


"My wife was afraid of the dark, then she saw me naked and now she's
afraid of the light." - Rodney Dangerfield

It's all about perspective.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004


The Meaning of Free Will

Free Will is another name for God's Will, for it is eternally free,happy, peaceful, and joyful. This State of Mind is Perfection or Reality or Truth. The Will is free in perfect Oneness and Union, and this freedom is a characteristic of Spirit or Eternal Creation, which is the abstract Light of unconditional love sometimes reported in "near death experiences." This Light is total understanding and Love, or Oneness. God creates only Light and Oneness. Duality is the illusion of the ego.

Choice did not seem to arise until the "fall from Grace" that reflects the belief that separation from God is possible. This belief in separation produces what appears to be a dualistic dream-world of extremes and opposites: the time-space cosmos. These seeming "choices between specifics" which are the common "choices of the world" are a distraction from understanding that the choice of purpose in one's mind is the only meaningful choice remaining to the dreamer of the dream-world.

No one can serve two masters, and the ego's voice and the inner voiceof the Spirit are as different in purpose as night and day. Learningto discern between these two voices, lay aside the ego, and align completely with the Voice for God is the goal of life, for God's Will for us is perfect happiness. The Voice for God leads to awakening from the dream-world of fear to the Reality of Eternal Love and Oneness.

What does it require to remember God? Nothing in Reality. You don't need to do anything to Be What You Are. If the illusion of time still seems real, what is your only need? You know the answer.... The forgetting of this world of fragmentation, the forgiveness of illusions, the releasing of the past. Don't put your faith in the ego and its laws of economics, medicine, nutrition, physics, friendship, and its doctrines, rituals, and creeds that tell you that you must "struggle" to survive. Let go of the belief that you are confined to a body. Let go of the belief that you have a past or a future. Watch your care and concerns disappear from awareness. Behold, the blazing light of your True Identity in God, changeless and timeless. The truth is now, the present moment, free of all illusory restrictions and limitations. In Awakening to God you will first have a happy dream, cleansed ofjudgments and grievances. Joy and laughter will replace sadness andsorrow. The mind becomes completely "saved" from the belief in error,and what was error but a mistake to be corrected by the Holy Spirit,the Answer within. Now is the time of release, for happy dreams lead to Awakening to Love and Light, Peace Eternal. Welcome Home Holy Child of the Living God!

-David Hoffmeister

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

1:35AM - Lessons in Truth

9. Each man must sooner or later learn to stand alone with his God; nothing else avails. Nothing else will ever make you master of your own destiny. There is in your own indwelling Lord all the life and health, all the strength and peace and joy, all the wisdom and support that you can ever need or desire. No one can give to you as can this indwelling Father. He is the spring of all joy and comfort and power.

10. Hitherto we have believed that we were helped and comforted by others, that we received joy from outside circumstances and surroundings; but it is not so. All joy and strength and good spring up from a fountain within one's own being; and if we only knew this truth we should know that, because God in us is the fountain out of which springs all our good, nothing that anyone does or says, or fails to do or say, can take away our joy and good.

11. Someone has said: "Our liberty comes from an understanding of the mind and the thoughts of God toward us." Does God regard man as His servant, or as His child? Most of us have believed ourselves not only the slaves of circumstances, but also, at the best, the servants of the Most High. Neither belief is true. It is time for us to awake to right thoughts, to know that we are not servants, but children, "and if children, then heirs" (Rom. 8:17). Heirs to what? Why, heirs to all wisdom, so that we need not, through any lack of wisdom, make mistakes; heirs to all love, so that we need know no fear or envy or jealousy; heirs to all strength, all life, all power, all good.

12. The human intelligence is so accustomed to the sound of words heard from childhood that often they convey to it no real meaning. Do you stop to think, really to comprehend, what it means to be "heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ" (Rom. 8:17)? It means, "Every man is the inlet, and may become the outlet, of all there is in God." It means that all that God is and has is in reality for us, His only heirs, if we only know how to claim our inheritance.

13. This claiming of our rightful inheritance, the inheritance that God wants us to have in our daily life, is just what we are learning how to do in these simple talks.

14. Paul said truly: "So long as the heir is a child, he differeth nothing from a bondservant though he is lord of all;

15. "But is under guardians and stewards until the day appointed of the father.

16. "So we also, when we were children [in knowledge], were held in bondage under the rudiments of the world:

17. "But when the fulness of the time came, God sent forth his Son . . . And because ye are sons, God sent forth the Spirit of his Son into our hearts [or into our conscious minds], crying Abba, Father.

18. "So that thou art no longer a bondservant but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God" (Gal. 4:1-7).

19. It is through Christ, the indwelling Christ, that we are to receive all that God has and is, as much or as little as we can or dare to claim.

20. No matter with what object you first started out to seek Truth, it was in reality because it was God's "fulness of the time" (Gal. 4:4) for you to arise and begin to claim your inheritance. You were no longer to be satisfied with or under bondage to the elements of the world. Think of it! God's "fulness of the time" now for you to be free, to have dominion over all things material, to be no longer bond servant, but a son in possession of your inheritance! "Ye did not choose me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that ye should go and bear fruit" (Jn. 15:16).

Friday, July 23, 2004


Why? It's all so meaningless. I am lost.

Current mood: depressed

Wednesday, July 14, 2004


-Neem Karoli Baba

Thursday, July 1, 2004


"His disciples said to him: On what day will the rest of the dead come into being? And on what day will the new world come? He said to them: That which ye await has come, but ye know it not."
-The Gospel of Thomas


A MANTRA IS something that you utter when your body, your mind and your breath are at one in deep concentration. When you dwell in that deep concentration, you look into things and see them as clearly as you see an orange that you hold in the palm of your hand. Looking deeply into the five skandhas, Avalokitesvara (the Buddha) saw the nature of inter- being and overcame all pain. He became completely liberated. It was in that state of deep concentration, of joy, of liberation, that he uttered something important. That is why his utterance is a mantra.

When two young people love each other, but the young man has not said so yet, the young lady may be waiting for three very important words. If the young man is a very responsible person, he probably wants to be sure of his feeling, and he may wait a long time before saying it. Then one day, sitting together in a park, when no one else is nearby and everything is quiet, after the two of them have been silent for a long time, he utters these three words. When the young lady hears this, she trembles, because it is such an important statement. When you say something like that with your whole being, not just with your mouth or your intellect, but with your whole being, it can transform the world. A statement that has such power of transformation is called a mantra. Alokitesvara's mantra is

"Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha."

Gate means gone. Gone from suffering to the liberation of suffering. Gone from forgetfulness to mindfulness. Gone from duality into non-duality. Gate gate means gone, gone. Paragate means gone all the way to the other shore. So this mantra is said in a very strong way. Gone, gone, gone all the way over. In Parasamgate sammeans everyone, the sangha, the entire community of beings. Everyone gone over to the other shore. Bodhi is the light inside, enlightenment, or awakening. You see it and the vision of reality liberates you. And svaha is a cry of joy or excitement, like "Welcome!" or "Hallelujah!" "Gone, gone, gone all the way over, everyone gone to the other shore, enlightenment, svaha !"

THAT IS WHAT the bodhisattva uttered. When we listen to this mantra, we should bring ourselves into that state of attention, of concentration, so that we can receive the strength emanated by Avalokitesvara. We do not recite the Heart Sutra like singing a song, or with our intellect alone. If you practise the meditation on emptiness, if you penetrate the nature of interbeing with all your heart, your body, and your mind, you will realize a state that is quite concentrated. If you say the mantra then, with all your being, the mantra will have power and you will be able to have real communication, real communion with Avalokitesvara, and you will be able to transform yourself in the direction of enlightenment.

This text is not just for chanting, or to be put on an altar for worship. It is given to us as a tool to work for our liberation, for the liberation of all beings. It is like a tool for farming, given to us so that we may farm. This is the gift of Avalokita.

There are three kinds of gift. The first is the gift of material resources. The second is the gift of know-how, the gift of the Dharma. The third, the highest kind of gift, is the gift of non-fear. Avalokitesvara is someone who can help us liberate ourselves from fear.

TheHeart Sutra gives us solid ground for making peace with ourselves, for transcending the fear of birth and death, the duality of this and that. In the light of emptiness, everything is everything else, we inter-are, everyone is responsible for everything that happens in life. When you produce peace and happiness in yourself, you begin to realize peace for the whole world. With the smile that you produce in yourself, with the conscious breathing you establish within yourself, you begin to work for peace in the world.

To smile is not to smile only for yourself, the world will change because of your smile. When you practise sitting meditation, if you enjoy even one moment of your sitting, if you establish serenity and happiness inside yourself, you provide the world with a solid base of peace. If you do not give yourself peace, how can you share it with others? If you do not begin your peace work with yourself, where will you go to begin it? To sit, to smile, to look at things and really see them, these are the basis of peace work.

Yesterday, we had a tangerine party. Everyone was offered one tangerine. We put the tangerine on the palm of our hand and looked at it, breathing in a way that the tangerine became real. Most of the time when we eat a tangerine, we do not look at it. We think about many other things. To look at a tangerine is to see the blossom forming into the fruit, to see the sunshine and the rain. The tangerine in our palm is the wonderful presence of life. We are able to really see that tangerine and smell its blossom and the warm, moist earth. As the tangerine becomes real, we become real. Life in that moment becomes real.

Mindfully we began to peel our tangerine and smell its fragrance. We carefully took each section of the tangerine and put in on our tongue, and we could feel that it was a real tangerine. We ate each section of the tangerine in perfect mindfulness until we finished the entire fruit. Eating a tangerine in this way is very important, because both the tangerine and the eater of the tangerine become real. This, too, is the basic work for peace.

In Buddhist meditation we do not struggle for the kind of enlightenment that will happen five or ten years from now. We practise so that each moment of our life becomes real life. And, therefore, when we meditate, we sit for sitting; we don't sit for something else. If we sit for twenty minutes, these twenty minutes should bring us joy, life. If we practise walking meditation, we walk just for walking, not to arrive. We have to be alive with each step, and if we are, each step brings real life back to us.

The same kind of mindfulness can be practised when we eat breakfast, or when we hold a child in our arms. Hugging is a Western custom, but we from the East would like to contribute the practice of conscious breathing to it. When you hold a child in your arms, or hug your mother, or your husband, or your friend, breathe in and out three times and your happiness will be multiplied by at least tenfold. And when you look at someone, really look at them with mindfulness, and practise conscious breathing.

At the beginning of each meal, I recommend that you look at your plate and silently recite, "My plate is empty now, but I know that it is going to be filled with delicious food in just a moment."While waiting to be served or to serve yourself, I suggest you breathe three times and look at it even more deeply, "At this very moment many, many people around the world are also holding a plate but their plate is going to be empty for a long time." Forty thousand children die each day because of the lack of food. Children alone. We can be very happy to have such wonderful food, but we also suffer because we are capable of seeing. But when we see in this way, it makes us sane, because the way in front ofus is clear - the way to live so that we can make peace with ourselves and with the world.

When we see the good and the bad, the wondrous and the deep suffering, we have to live in a way that we can make peace between ourselves and the world. Understanding is the fruit of meditation. Understanding is the basis of everything.

Each breath we take, each step we make, each smile we realize, is a positive contribution to peace, a necessary step in the direction of peace for the world. In the light of interbeing, peace and happiness in your daily life mean peace and happiness in the world.

Thank you for being so attentive. Thank you for listening to Avalokitesvara. Because you are there, the Heart Sutra has become very easy.

This extract is reprinted from The Heart of Understanding, published by Parallax Press, Berkeley, California at $6.00.

Thich Nhat Hanh has been a Buddhist monk for fifty-five years.

Monday, August 18, 2003


Guess who's back?
Back again?
Priest is back.
Tell a friend.
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back,
De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne,
De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne.
My roommate is a monster, cause he don't want me to go online no more so he shut off the phone line, but I'll be damned if that stops me from rhymin whenever I want, so what we got no phone, that's fine.
A little cable mixed with a modem, an ethernet card and I'm stacked and I'm holding. Thanks Danny for going to Comcast so I can have my blast of info and real fast.
Guess who's back?
Back again?
Priest is back.
Tell a friend.
Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back,
De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne,
De ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne ne.

Saturday, August 2, 2003


take the nerd test.

and go to mewing.net. a nerd utopia.


Ha! I just realized that I have been paying half the cable bill, and I don't even watch TV, ever. That's all done with.


So, now my roommate has decided to shut off the phone because he is not home very often, and he has a cell phone. Meanwhile, I have paid my bills and rent to him when they were to be paid, sometimes a few days late, but paid. So I told him to have the phone transfered into my name, but he won't. He says he would still be responsible to pay it if I didn't. Hello! I pay my bills! So he is worried that I am having trouble getting a job, yet still my bills are paid, only now I have no phone number to give to potential employers. On top of that, I have a seizure disorder, so I need to have a phone. So guess who's gonna have to get a new roommate? He's screwing himself, because I already know he can't make his bills without me here. Of course, I am sure I will be the one who is made out to be the asshole for leaving, but that's not really my problem. I moved into a home with a phone, and I will not be forced to use a cell phone. Also, how am I supposed to go online? Uhhhgggg!


"Today a young man on acid realised that all matter is just energy condensed to a slow vabration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves." - Bill Hicks


How evil are you?

Friday, August 1, 2003


"Look," said my brother-in-law, "if things were empty how could I feel this orange, in fact taste it and swallow it, answer me that one."

"Your mind makes out the orange by seeing it, hearing it, touching it, smelling it, tasting it and thinking about it but without this mind, you call it, the orange would not be seen or heard or smelled or tasted or even mentally noticed, it's actually depending on your mind to exist! Don't you see that? By itself it's a no-thing, it's seen only of your mind. In other words it's empty and awake."

"Well, if that's so, I still don't care." All enthusiastic I went back to the woods that night and thought, "What does it mean that I am in this endless universe, thinking that I'm a man sitting under the stars on the terrace of the earth, but actually empty and awake throughout the emptiness and awakedness of everything? It means that I'm empty and awake, that I know I'm empty, awake, and that there's no difference between me and anything else."

Excert from The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac

Thanks to skylermarie for the quote.


When shall I withdraw into the forest
And live among the trees
With birds & deer who say nothing unpleasant
But are a joy to live with?

Guide to the Bodhisattva's way of Life

Thanks to bodharma for the quote.

Thursday, July 31, 2003


I apologize to all of you who I have not had a chance to comment or respond to in the last several days. Life is very hectic right now.

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